I once wrote about wishing I could go forward in time to see my boys okay – as a way of giving me peace today. Having a knowledge that in the end, it will all be okay. Lately, I have been having discussions with T, in response to his observations about his father, about life really and people. Truthfully, I have found it somewhat difficult walking a fine line between speaking negatively about his father’s actions/words and providing some clarification and lessons. As T gets older and starts to understand more I’d like to be able to offer positive words to ignite a knowingness in T that he does not have to follow his father’s path. And I speak specifically of T simply because of his recent conversations with me, but hope D hears me as well. At the moment D is muddled in between being a 17 year old, stubborn, on-the-verge-of-fleeing-the-nest-but-keeping-one-foot-cautiously-in-the-door, defiant, and yet loving and happy young man. He knows his father, but he so desperately wants his father – on the surface I don’t think D is even aware of this feeling – consciously anyway. I, as his mom, am left in a challenging corner that I have been arduously working to maneuver. Which leads me to the purpose of this post. There have been so many messages I have hoped my boys receive from me and understand and keep with them as they grow.
- Always hold the door open for others – not just women, but everyone. A small gesture of kindness truly can spark a light of hope in someone’s day.
- Be unselfish in your life. The world is bigger than you and I. Know when you do for others, you actually benefit just as much.
- But..remember to take care of your self. When you grow your being in a positive light, when you feed your own soul, when you treat your mind, body, and spirit as the temple it is, you will evoke happy energy.
- Your past does not define your future. Every single day you have a choice.
- Exercise. It not only strengthens your muscles, it strengthens your mind.
- Volunteer. Give to charity. Make a difference. And don’t forget the Starfish Story.
- Respect your partner. Take a deep breath and please think before you speak. Words can’t be taken back. YOU own your actions and your words.
- Family. Don’t ever give up on family.
- Truth. In your life, be truth. Speak it, show it, and model it.
- Be kind. Remember you have no idea what someone has gone through, what they have endured or experienced.
- Don’t forget to respect others and yourself. We are all human beings existing in a shared space.
- Don’t get caught up in the small details so much so that you lose sight of the bigger picture.
- Someday if you have you own children, relish in each moment, every stage of their life, plant seeds of confidence, and self-worth, and love in their hearts with your words and your actions.
- Go to bed every night saying “Good Night, I love You” to at least one person.
I am sure I could add more to this list and maybe someday I will. But know my beautiful boys, I love you with all my heart. Everything I am and everything I do, is because of both of you. You are my heart. You are my soul. You are my breath. Please forgive me for the mistakes I have made as your mom, but know I have tried and will always try to do and be my best for you. You are my reason.