Can I be honest? I am scared. How will I support myself? How will I have enough money? I feel as though on so many levels, I have regressed in my life. My dream is gone. As I watch shows, movies, and friends live their lives, I harshly realize that my dream will never be. It no longer exists and now will never have the chance. As this mulls in the back of my mind, I can’t help but feel sadness and anger and fear.
Lately as I fall asleep my dreams are filled with people taking advantage of me or attempting to kill me. Suffice to say, I feel very vulnerable. And suddenly I am reminded of a song I sang to D while pregnant and quite frequently during his childhood.
“May the long time sun
Shine upon you,
All love surround you,
And the pure light within you
Guide your way on.”
kundalini yoga – farewell blessing
……just trying to find my way.