So I was Told

“No one is telling you how they really feel about you. You force people to lie to you.” With a quick text, a second…self-doubt encompasses me. Others, close and not-so-close, have made me aware of their opinions about me as a person. Some positive and some not so much. And for the most part, fairly accurately. So who is it? Or who are they? Who is not being honest with me? And tell me why I need to care? I expect the truth.

Funny how someone, someone so incredibly close, can take any bits of self-confidence and shred it in a second. “…….But words will never hurt me.” I beg to differ.

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19 thoughts on “So I was Told

  1. NoDegrees Oftruth says:

    Truth, the real truth is kept from most of us for many reasons. For the most part, we don’t know “truth” because those who care about us don’t want to hurt us. Some people like children, autistic folks or angry people have little or no truth filter. Like when a child points to someone with a disability or oddity and publicly comments. You are blessed to stand in your truth. Never stop.

    • butterboop22 says:

      I suppose truth can be kept from some of us if it’s in the context of something that happened that you would otherwise know nothing about. For example, you were adopted as an infant. Facts and details of our lives that we rely on others to provide us. But truth as in the truth that embodies someone, is not “kept from most of us” because it IS us. It’s whether we can see it, respect it, feel it, and face it. I think sometimes people confuse or blur opinion with truth. A child on the autism spectrum who shouts out “You are ugly” to a person is not lacking a “truth filter” but simply stating a matter of opinion. Because somewhere in this world there is someone else who will just as likely say “You are beautiful” to that same person.

  2. NoDegrees Ofseperation says:

    The obvious conclusion is – you don’t need to care. Why would you?

    You should remain expecting and living in your truth. It is yours.

    • butterboop22 says:

      I suppose I should clarify the post. It wasn’t about whether I should care as much as why someone so close would say such a thing. To me, the purpose was to hurt and create self-doubt. The post was just an expression of that hurt.

  3. NoDegrees says:

    My use of the example of autistic folks was naive on my part because I was simply talking to one speaking without a filter, not truth. Maybe turrets would have been more appropriate. My belief is truth is relative and not sacrosanct. I agree with all you say for the most part. Sometimes I can’t handle the truth because I am too sensitive. You seem stronger than that.

    • butterboop22 says:

      Tourette’s would be an example of no filter yet not necessarily of truth.
      I must apologize if I am depicting myself as one of strength and yielding armor that “protects” me from being sensitive to the truth. This is not the case. Although, I work to be strong. And in reality, my boys are my source.
      I do find it ironic that you find truth to be relative when your email is “No Degrees of Truth.” That I do believe – there are no degrees of truth. Truth just is.
      I do appreciate the discussion however.

      • No degrees says:

        No degrees of truth was a perspective that I believed you were espousing so I used that. I believe truth can be relative and can be distorted by time, perspective and emotion.

    • No degrees says:

      So you believe truth is a fact? Around the world, other than AMEA America is the evil empire. We feel it’s OK TO bomb any country that could do us harm. we assassinate world leaders. We believe we are right and have truth. We think truth is ours.

      • No degrees says:

        A fact is a reality that cannot be logically disputed or rejected. If I say “fire is hot,” I don’t care how great your reasoning skills are, if you touch fire your skin will burn (and don’t give me that “but people can walk on hot coals!” bull. There’s a difference between the transfer of heat through conduction and training one’s body to deal with the agonizing pain of said conduction). Now when I say this, I am not speaking a truth, I am speaking a fact. If you say “fire is not hot,” you are not lying, you are incorrect. Facts are concrete realities that no amount of reasoning will change. When one acknowledges a fact, they are doing just that. Facts are not discovered, facts are not created, facts are simply acknowledged.

        A truth on the other hand, is almost the opposite. Truths are those things that are not simply acknowledged, but must be discovered, or created. If I say “God exists,” and I possess strong reasoning for the affirmative of that statement, then God really does exist, that is a reality. However, if another individual possesses strong reasoning for the negative, and because of this reasoning they believe that God does not exist, then that is also a reality. If we were to debate our ideologies, and my reasoning appeared stronger than theirs, they may choose to adopt my belief that God does exist. If they do, then the existence of God is just as true as the nonexistence of God which they believed a week ago. Truths, as opposed to fact, are much more fluid and malleable than their empirical counterparts.

      • butterboop22 says:

        The first hit when Googling the definition of “fact” lists, as you can see, truth as a synonym.

        fact
        noun
        a thing that is indisputably the case.
        “she lacks political experience—a fact that becomes clear when she appears in public”
        synonyms: reality, actuality, certainty; truth, verity, gospel

        Now to reference your above points:
        Stating fire is hot is a fact. It is also the truth. I dispute your statement that “Facts are not discovered…..” Electricity was discovered. And electricity is a fact. Dinosaur remains were discovered and are a fact. So by your definition “…Truths are those things that are not simply acknowledged, but must be discovered, or created,” truths and facts are one in the same. In your reference to God you correctly also use the word “believe.” To believe and truth are not one in the same. I can believe in God and can convince you to do the same, but that does not equate to truth.
        So to answer your previous question “if I say “I love you” is that truth or fact,” with the assumption that the intent is pure, then it is both fact and true. And while I agree with you in that this is a perfect case of truth being more fluid, it does not ever change that on that particular day you did love me.

        p.s. In the spirit of this discussion, when using arguments of truth versus fact from the internet, you should use quotes or reference the source.

  4. No drgrees says:

    Sorry I didn’t mean not to give credit to the original published. but I was rely discovering and learning at the same time I ran into another blog on truth. I just believe the a fact may be truth but truth isnt a fact. No quotes necessary.

    • butterboop22 says:

      The very basic definitions of both fact and truth include each other. We could walk down the philosophical or religious or moral path and dissect these words and their meanings as well as their relevance. I suppose I tend to be simple (kind of the like the saying “the girl next door.”) and maybe even concrete. While the discussion is interesting and even thought provoking, which I enjoy, I’ll agree to disagree with you.

  5. Nodegrees says:

    If the person that is talking to you is so close why would they be saying something to hurt you? Why? Was that the intent – it does seem like it but why? Malcolm X knew in order to make change in a highly racist environment he had to push the movement far in excess to what he believed in order to make the smallest change. He was right. Change individual is hard and collectively almost impossible. MLK WOULD HAVE NEVER MADE THE IMPACT WITHOUT MALCOM X. Is this person pushing you this hard because they know your needle is hard to move. You believe you stand in your truth and that is everything. Are this person so close they are willing to lose your friendship in order to help you be better or are they just mean spirited?

    • butterboop22 says:

      I must admit I do not understand your correlation? At all. While I do not believe this person is mean-spirited in the least, I do believe it was spoken in a time of anger.

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