What Defines You?

Several years ago a friend of mine made a cluster of lousy choices. He hurt people as a result. Himself included. It took me several months to write him. To reach out to him. There was much to process. Firstly, why did he do what he did? How? But who am I to judge someone else? So…I wrote him…an email. I told him I did not believe his character was so much based on what he did up to that point. I did not believe who he was should necessarily be defined by his choices up to that point. I believed his true character, his true being, would be defined by how he chose to move forward. Would he stand up to falter again? Would he walk away from his mistakes never to learn? Would he blame? Would he make excuses? Or….would he change? By change, I mean would he get to the core of who he was and be better for it? Would he be able to look back not so much in regret but in acknowledgement? In acceptance for who he was but clear about who he is..now? Ironically, there will be people along that path who choose themselves to not forget, to blame, to continue to define him by those choices. Those people alone can tug on his rope that he struggles to use to help propel him forward. It certainly will cause for more callouses, but tougher, stronger skin will result.
Sometimes words can come full circle. You send them out to the world to help, and sometimes, later, they come back…to help. Even when the circumstances are completely different.

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