Old to New

I run every week. So much goes through my mind when I run. It does bring me some clarity. I never use to like to run. In fact, I would get a bit of anxiety before heading out for a run, my stomach would turn. Now I lace up my sneakers and just run. It’s like an old me and a new me. The new me runs and is able to reap so many more benefits – not only does my heart and lungs benefit, but my mind, my soul now benefits. I have become stronger in so many ways. And yet, I always seem to remind myself just before heading out for a run “hey, your stomach isn’t upset?” I say this because the old me I have realized is still hard in some ways to just let go. To say goodbye to. After all, it’s still me – good or bad, happy or weak, it’s me. The old me was stuck in a not-so-good place. I tried to push through daily. I tried so hard to be in a better place. And even now I can taste it – that place, I can taste. I don’t want to ever go back there. With that said, I find a small inch of me still struggles with letting it all go. I have to say goodbye to a part of my life, a big part of my life, that will no longer flourish the way in which I imagined. I’m discovering a way, albeit slowly, to take that old me and be at peace with all that I was and all that I am and all that I will be. Eliminate guilt and regret, anger and sadness and feel peace. 

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