I am moving forward. As the degree of separation becomes clearer and more pronounced, my mind becomes foggier. Memories have become skewed. My perception becomes jumbled. Visible holes in my every day life will be present. It feels like every day I move closer, I become that much more anxious. Will I break? I try to balance my feelings and thoughts. I don’t want this pain energy to pass to my children. Deep breaths. I remember moments as a child when I would hurriedly try to fall asleep at night to only be done with the day. I knew when the sun came up, I would be better. I want that now. I want to wake up in the morning, and be better. Stronger. Happier. Why is this so hard?